Where do we go from here?

I can't believe how quickly this is all going.
Saturday night I found the house listing.
Monday I went in to get preapproved for financing.
Tuesday I got a showing and saw the house. Within two hours of getting home and putting in an offer it was accepted. The offer was for $35k.
Obviously everything is pending on an inspection and appraisal. And...well...my financing.
I need to get that preapproval letter. I need them to accept my lack of credit history--I have a great score but it's only one--and the fact that I've only been working full-time for seven months. Rachel mentioned a sunshine letter from my employers and I think if I have to I'll ask them to write one up for me. I know they would do it.
There is no reason why I can't afford to move out. It's terrifying to imagine suddenly having bills to pay after nearly twenty-one years of paying back my mom for everything, even now. I really need to get a checkbook. I opted not to get one, using instead my debit card.

Sidenote: I'm watching The Daily Show tonight with George Tenet. I watched him on Meet The Press this last Sunday and was amazed at how eloquent he was. Anyway, so now Jon Stewart played a reel of other interviewers just blaming him left and right and Jon goes..."I have no where else to bruise you. So may I offer you a Fresca?"
I'm a hardcore Republican, conservative, etc., but I love Stewart and Colbert.

So anyway. Now I'm kind of scared.
Well, not kind of.
I am scared.
This is totally uncharted territory for me.
My mother keeps trying to scare me, too, saying "What happens when you don't have this job anymore?" Well, guess what. Nothing is guaranteed. Not their jobs, not mine. So I'm supposed to let that stop me from living?
They decided not to save for college for us. They decided to completely distance themselves from trying to assist me in attending school and have absolutely no remorse over how they told me this news (at the very last second) and saw nothing wrong with basically screwing me over.

::takes a breath::

I have issues with bitterness.

I realized after all of this--the phone calls, the reality of the situation--that I will live alone if I get the house. Of course I'll have plenty to keep me busy...the animals, adjusting to paying bills, getting furniture, etc., not to mention eventually the work that I will do to the house...but still. Alone. For the first time. I wake up alone every morning. I spend two nights a week at someone else's house for work.
If I could, I would find someone to live with me. There's a second bedroom. Plus it wouldn't hurt to have some financial help.
Adam says not to invest too much as far as fixing up the place...but you know, I can't see myself moving any time soon from that place. And my strongest desire is to live somewhere I can be proud of. I am not at all proud of the apartment where I grew up no matter the memories that come flooding back each time I visit it and am certainly not proud of living in this house.
My parents have sucked the enjoyment out of living in our own house. They can't just be. They focus on every single negative thing and obsess about it instead of fixing it or deciding it's not worth it to bitch about it all the time.
I don't want to live that way anymore. I just don't.
Obviously it wouldn't be practical or financially possible to fix everything right away, but there are a few things I could do to make it more...enjoyable.
We'll see what those things are if I do get the house.

So my plans are to have a joint birthday/housewarming party and everyone will be invited. I'll hopefully even have a garden scraped out by then, too. Anything to liven the place up a bit.

I'm not regretting this life-changing decision. At all. But there is so much to think about and do and argue over and I'm really just wanting it to be done already.
I know from the past that it really will go over so quickly that I won't even know what happened--which is why I've chosen to make this diary about it. I want to remember everything and what order it happened in.